A TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOR

 

 

I have a bit of a warped sense of humor.  I developed it as a means to survive an abusive childhood with alcoholic parents.  I think it has served me well.  As my daughters grew up, they developed their own versions as did my sister.  Our family is pretty used to it, but sometimes when we are in public, I fear people think we are crazy and maybe a bit irreverent.

One instance of using it with family occurred back in the 80’s.  I used to do a lot of cake decorating for my childrens’ birthdays and sometimes for friends.  I was once making a Wonder Woman cake for one of my first husband’s friends, Ken.  

We always teased him that the only woman that he ever felt was good enough for him was Wonder Woman.

I don’t know if they are still around, but there was a company back then (Leggs) who packaged panty hose in plastic eggs that were 3 – 4 inches tall.

 I had several of these “eggs” and when I made Ken’s Wonder Woman cake, I took two of the plastic eggs and placed them where her boobs would be and iced over them.  The final cake ended up with her having these huge boobs that stuck up 3 to 4 inches from the cake itself.  It was hilarious!

As I started the clean-up from making the cake, there was a fair amount of the brown icing I had used for Wonder Woman’s hair left in the piping bag.  I took the tip off the bag and began to squeeze it out to empty it.  As the brown icing oozed out of the bag I noticed it looked very much like our little poodle’s poop.  It was then I came up with an evil idea.

I decided to go up to the master bath and make a brown pile of icing “dog poop” on the floor of our shower.  I just knew when Terry got up to shower the next day and reached in to turn on the water; he would see the “poop” and gross out. 

The anticipation was terrible as he got up the next morning and went into the bathroom.  I knew he would use the toilet before getting in the shower, so I stayed in the bed waiting to hear him retch when he saw it.  I waited, and I waited some more…nothing.  Finally it was killing me, so I went up to the bathroom door (which Terry had left opened a bit) and there sat Terry still on the toilet.  When he saw me, he took his finger and stuck it into the “icing poop” and then hungrily licked it off his fingers as he muttered “Mmmmmmm!”. 

I started gagging! I literally thought I was going to throw up!  Even though I knew it was icing, it had taken on a “poop life” of its own in my head.  I couldn’t stop gagging as Terry laughed hysterically.  

It just goes to show you that the best twisted humor can backfire and you should be ready to deal with what you dish out.

Love and Hugs,