MISSING THE PARTY

 

I had French onion soup tonight along with a fresh-baked French baguette from Costco.  ….and I cried.

We have a “beater” refrigerator on the back deck that we bought for $40 two years ago.  We used it for storing all the extra produce we got from the garden, plus holding our extra freezer items that we inevitably picked up from Costco.  My girls always teased Art and me that if the apocalypse ever hits, they are coming to our house because they know there would be enough food there to feed an army.

Art loved to grocery shop and delighted in finding “special” things he knew we would enjoy.   Two of our favorites were frozen king or snow crab legs and Costco’s French onion soup.  We would always buy their frozen French baguettes as well and especially enjoyed them hot out of the oven with the French onion soup.

I want to sell the “beater” fridge to save on electricity, so I am trying to use up everything in it…which mainly consists of frozen items.  Tonight I went out to bring in a few more things and saw the soup and baguettes and thought I would have that tonight for dinner.

In addition to enjoying grocery shopping, Art loved to eat…as do I.  I suppose that’s why we were both carrying a few extra pounds.

When we went out to eat, the wait staff and people around us would often come up and say “You two are just having too much fun!’ …and we were.  We always talked and laughed over our meals.  We often commented that it was so sad to watch some couples eating together with hardly a word passing between them.  He and I were very blessed that we enjoyed our food, laughing and each other.

On our honeymoon, we didn’t make hotel reservations at the Bavarian Inn where we planned to stay for three nights until going to the Grand Hotel.  It was off season, so we thought nothing of it.  Big mistake!  There was a fall festival going on.  They got us in for our first night but said we would have to stay somewhere else the remainder of our time.

I explained that we were on our honeymoon and asked if they could put us on a waiting list.  The sweet clerk said she would, but said there would likely be no cancellations for the next night as they would essentially forfeit the room fee since they would not have cancelled at least 24 hours prior.

The next morning we stopped at McDonald’s to get some breakfast and while there my phone rang.  I didn’t answer it because I didn’t recognize the number.  They left a message.  It was the Bavarian Inn telling us they did have a cancellation and could get us in for the remaining nights we wanted to stay!  They just needed me to call back right away to confirm.

As I was dialing the phone, Art started teasing a table FULL of 80-90 year old ladies.  They informed him they lived nearby and all came in weekly and had breakfast and visited.  As he teased back and forth with them, I had to step outside because they were all laughing so hard I couldn’t hear the desk clerk at the hotel.

After I got that all taken care of and came back in, Art had left our booth and was standing over at the table filled with these sweet ladies.  They were all giggling and telling me how funny Art was and that he had told them we were just married and on our honeymoon.  They commented how lucky we were that we laughed and enjoyed each other so much.  They said they had all been commenting about it as we were having our breakfast.

That was so typical.  It was always a party eating with Art…or doing most anything.

Since Art died I haven’t been able to eat at the kitchen table alone.  There is just such a huge empty space in his chair at the table.  Instead I usually sit at my desk and read or play a game while I eat.  I don’t feel his loss so much that way.

When we ate French onion soup and baguettes or crab legs, we always laughed and went on and on about how tasty it was and how much we enjoyed it.  It was always like a celebration or a party.  Tonight was the first night I’ve made the French onion soup since he died.

Even though I ate it at my desk and played a game, I missed him and the celebration we always had.  I ate my soup and bread, played a game and I cried.  I missed the party.

 

Love and Hugs,